Tuesday, April 12, 2011

mommy-ing

Ever have one of those days, weeks, months where you feel like nothing you are doing is right? Well, I am there. I want and crave to be one of those moms that is (or looks) to be carefree.  We were doing ok over the winter and winter break. Had fun, hung out, did artsy things, hardly had to yell etc... Well something has changed since then and I don't know how to get it back. I feel angry all the time with just life in general. I have work (which isn't that bad right now) , then I pick up the kiddos and as soon as we are in the car they start fighting or yelling or WHISTLING.. Then I start scolding and scolding and more scolding.. Finally I BLOW UP! I HATE blowing up. It makes the kids cry it makes me cry and then everyone feels even worse then when we started. I see the pics in magazines of mommy's and kids having a good time.. Don't those moms have to work too? I thought that I wanted to be a soccer mom and have a busy schedule.. NOT. I don't look forward to Tuesday's and Wednesdays because we don't get home until 6:45-7 and then dinner, shower, and bed. No down time.


Our biggest problem that is making us crazy is E's attitude. She is 5 (about to be 6) going on 16. She wants to be a teenager and already has the attitude to match. We have eye rolling, stomping off, talking back or just ignoring. The more I seem to discipline the worse it seems to get. If we ignore then she is getting away with it. I know that she is SO exhausted when she gets home from school and part of it is from that but what about Sat mornings when she gets up.. Shouldn't be tired then. =) It needs to end.


E and I made a vow tonight after our big blow up. There is no more yelling. I can't do it and it doesn't work. If I don't yell then she has to listen and not have attitude. We are best friends again.
Well I am waiting on laundry and ready for bed. Hopefully sometime soon I can be the carefree mommy that I long to be.

3 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. Your pro. Just tired and stress, but when I was that way it cause I had postpartum I would yell and scream at everything, even at the tiniest thing that would go wrong I would expoled and then end up crying my eyes out for acting that way! Thankfully the meds have worked and I don't get so upset anymore, but I still have bad days every now and then. My guess is your not use to the new schedule and your just tired.

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  2. I know EXACTLY what you mean! I'm reading the book Love and Anger: the Parental Dilemma right now, and it is great. I also get lots of wonderful advice from Carrie over at the Parenting Passageway blog. I'm a yeller, but I am trying to become a reformed yeller. :) You're a great mom!

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  3. Oh, and I had the same thing, Kellie. I didn't realize Postpartum Depression could also manifest through anger and not sadness. :-/ It helped for me to start taking my vitamins and my fish oils, but I still struggle with the irrational anger and I'm almost a year past the birth of my baby.

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